365

Vegan for a year...

I have been secretly planning this challenge for nearly two months now. Still unsure why exactly I waited until this moment in time to commit to this life style, at least for a year. Of course health reasons are always good, especially since I am still carrying around an extra thirty pounds three months after Hudson, my second son was born. But it is not the health aspect that is primarily driving this thing. If I am to be honest, I think it is really about my identity. For the past seven years I identified myself as Vegetarian among other things. With the birth of my second son all of a sudden I feel my old identities slipping away. The old titles that used to define me no longer apply. "Party Girl" and "Up for Anything Ang" fit like a pair of my pre-preggo going out jeans- they just don't. "Mommy" and "Wife" and "Toilet Cleaner" are great and noble titles but sometimes they feel rather stiff and unforgiving, sometimes just downright ugly. Even the title Vegeterian seems tattered and torn. I still don't eat meat, but I buy it, cook it and serve it to my husband and son. I vowed that Hayden, my first born would never eat pork, at the least... and with every peice of peperoni and sausage pizza he consumes I feel a little less like a Vegeterian.

It is not that I don't love my sons, my husband and my responsibilities but some days I just feel lost in my own life. Like I am a stranger looking into my own kitchen window, watching myself wash dishes. It often seems as though the past three years of my life just happened to me with no regard with who I was or who I planned on being. Out of my control... a strange feeling for someone who believes we have a high internal locus of control. In an attempt to regain a sense of control over my life and my identity I am choosing a new label for myself for the next 365 days.

Vegan.

This is my journey, my self-imposed challenge, my blind quest to find Me again.

I want to know if the food I put in my mouth really defines who I am at the most basic level. For a mom feeling left out of her own life, I think this might be a good place to start.

Cheers to the new year, whole grains and new beginnings!

-Vegan Mommy (for a year)

Countdown: 364 Days