Wednesday, January 13, 2010

throw me a bone.

I had one of those days today. I will call it my second Monday of the week. The kind of day that suffocates you right from the moment you regain morning consciousness (after a crappy nights sleep anyhow). The said suffocation is then followed by a bad mood that stalks you into the bathroom, hangs on even after your cup of coffee and permeates the entire house like the stench of burnt microwave popcorn. Yup, that kind of day. You know what I am talking about.

Then, around 4 o'clock today it just got better. I said, "Come on God, I can't do this much more," sort of sarcastically and then... BAM. Things turned around. Imagine Moses just running into this crazy bush, burning fiercely in the desert. I felt like Moses must have felt. Okay, not that drastic but it did feel like a miracle. Angry about life one second and then peaceful the next. This I am not exaggerating. (with a word like 'exaggerating' I am super happy for spell checking. I should have left it unedited so you could have had a good laugh).

It makes me wonder how many of those miracles have happened in the course of my lifetime that I am completely unaware of. I am not talking about the obvious stuff like how many times I could have been hit by a bus, or stung by a poisonous insect, or infected with a deadly strain of bird flu? I am talking about the everyday blessings that I have been too busy to notice, too stressed to care, and too self-righteous to acknowledge.

If I can take the food I put into my mouth for granted, what else have I missed? Think about it. The miracle of food! I take it for granted that there will always be enough of it for me. It is though I feel entitled to eat what I want, when I want it. When in reality it is a blessing every day that I have cold Heinz Ketchup in my fridge and Cheerios on my shelf.

Like I said, if I can ignore the miracle that is food what else have I missed? If there was a rewind button on my life, I would press it and then watch it back in slow motion. None of this flashing before my eyes business. I want a second chance to see all that I missed and then write God a really big thank you note. There is nothing like a good ol' fashioned hand-written thank you note.

Since there is no rewind life button invented yet, probably by the time Hayden is in high school though, I will have to settle for the here and now. I bet if I looked real hard every day with my eyes wide open... just waiting for the next miracle to appear I would have a lot less stinky-burnt-popcorn-kind-of-second-Monday's. Just the premise of that thought is enticing and oh so exciting. If Oprah was reading this she would probably tell me she already had this "A-hah moment," like seven years ago. But I would tell Oprah that this is my blog and my "A-hah moment" so leave me alone. And now, as I eat this miracle we call "green apple" (well I am calling it my midnight snack) I say good night and thank you God, this is much better than a bone.

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